Top Ten Nude Scenes

Two young women arrive at a curious penthouse apartment, led by one’s crush on her tutor. However, her love interest doesn’t live alone. He’s part of a trio of computer hackers about to embark on the ultimate job on the world’s most mysterious mainframe; the Vatican’s top secret archives, to unlock the secret to the Bible Code. Whilst doing so, they unlock more than they bargain for with supernatural and ultimately fatal results. Can this seemingly insignificant chain of events, which have thrown this group together, be construed as fate? Can the hack provide a signal of hope or is it a web of manipulation, paranoia and ultimately… murder?

We at heart Jason Segel but even we didn’t expect to see that much of him in this weekend’s latest release ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’. Suffice to say, we won’t be forgetting him anytime soon! Let’s not forget, it wasn’t all that long ago Irish audiences would have been deprived of nudity thanks to over the eager censors of old,  such as our favourite 1946 banning of ‘Gilda’:


“A sinister unpleasant film. Sex, passion right through but without moral considerations. There are numerous sensual scenes and several murders. I have considered cutting but find that it would have to be so drastic, that it would leave the picture meaningless”


At least now we can feast our eyes on naked flesh at our local multiplex on a Saturday afternoon, right after doing our Tesco shop.  But what nude scenes had you gasping (or perhaps gagging). We take a look at some of the classic scenes -solo, paired and sometimes grouped!


Forever ingrained in our minds is the naked fat guy in Borat. It’s not pretty but it sure was funny, look at that flubber go!

(2) The Simpsons

Just for the sheer shock value. It’s been years since the Simpsons shocked us in any way shape or form but in their movie, they did just that in phallic form! In the brilliant sight gag scene where Bart takes a nude skateboard ride. The film uses every trick imaginable to keep Bart Jr. hidden from sight — until finally he rides past a hedge that blocks his entire body except for that. Brilliant.

(3) Boogie Nights

Sex, drugs and a fantastic soundtrack- that’s what ‘Boogie Nights’ is all about. There are, of course, a wealth of nude scenes to pick from in this movie but we’d single out the first time Dirk Diggler ‘meets’ Amber Waves. Julianne Moore saying “cum on my tits”. It’s been over ten years and we’re still shocked!

(4) Monty Python’s Life of Brian

Graham Chapman, like all the Pythons, was not afraid to do whatever it took to make a joke succeed. In Life of Brian, Chapman’s reluctant prophet has just spent the night with Judith Iscariot (Sue Jones-Davies) when he flings open the window to let in some morning air — and is shocked to find a crowd of followers in the courtyard below, waiting to hear words of inspiration. The fact that Brian is naked and has now fully exposed himself to his audience makes it that much more awkward (and thus funnier).

(5)Scary Movie

Public bathroom stall. Larry Craig situation. Realistic-looking prosthetic wang pokes through a hole in the wall … and then is used as a weapon, impaling Shawn Wayans through the ear. It’s glory hole ‘slap stick’ horror at it’s best (and worst).

(6) Basic Instinct

The interrogation scene, featuring Sharon Stone as Catherine Tramell is one nobody will soon forget. Brief as it is, the scenes is now the stuff of legends recreated in various forms: on The Simpsons episode in which it gets revealed who shot Mr. Burns, the police interrogate Groundskeeper Willie in one scene. Willie, while wearing a kilt, uncrosses his legs. Similarly in Beyonce’s 2006 video for ‘Ring The Alarm’ she uses the interrogation scene.

(7) Shortbus

Sofia (Sook-Yin Lee) is a sex therapist who has never had an orgasm, and is painfully aware of the irony. When she snaps during a therapy session with a very understanding couple, her clients suggest that she visit “Shortbus,” an underground performance space, salon and sex club. When Sofia walks through the door, she encounters the best orgy scene to appear on film after 1979. Piled on the floor, dangling from swings and squirming against the walls are dozens of bodies, of all genders and descriptions, screwing and licking in every possible combination. It’s a film made for best nude scene lists, sadly that’s one of its few redeeming features.

(8) The Dreamers

Maybe it’s because we live in an age where blood in the midst of intercourse can be dangerous, but of all the sundry sex acts in The Dreamers, the blood-on-the-face scene is the most memorable. Bertolluci is no stranger to envelope pushing but kudos to him for letting young, naïve American Matthew break a hymen on screen. When Matthew (Michael Pitt) then reaches up and smears the virginal blood on his partner Isabelle (Eva Green)’s face — and then  her brother does the same — a nude sex scene that we’ll never forget (for better or worse) was born.

(9) Don’t Look Now

The love scene in ‘Don’t Look Now’ was a late addition, conceived of when director Nicolas Roeg decided that something was needed to balance out all of the fighting between the couple played by Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland in Allan Scott’s screenplay. And so he added what turned out to be the most tender, most emotionally complex, and yes, hottest sex scene on celluloid. Not the first thing you’d expect from a horror film, or, for that matter, from Sutherland, but the scene, which represents a kind of détente in a marriage strained by the recent loss of a child, is justifiably famous — a portrait of a couple both intimately familiar with and in the process of rediscovering each other.

(10) Team America: World Police

Even with the cuts Trey Parker and Matt Stone had to make in order to secure an R-rating (the unrated DVD restores the sorely missed puppet defecation money shot), the infamous marionette sex scene in “Team America: World Police” is easily one of the most graphic in movie history. The sequence serves two purposes in the film: to mock the fact that these puppets can do all kinds of stuff the MPAA would never let humans do onscreen; and to pad the film with material so obviously and childishly filthy (like, oh, I don’t know, puppets pooping on each other, for example), that the aforementioned censors would be so focused on removing it that they wouldn’t notice the other, more subversive material slipping right under their noses. Despite all their positions and thrusting and mouth-to-ass action and such, the puppets still don’t have any genitals to speak of — no doubt Parker and Stone’s ultimate commentary on the pathetic state of the Hollywood sex scenes.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is in Irish Cinemas Now.