Feature PostApocalyptic Picks May 9, 2008 In the city that never sleeps, love is always on the mind. Those passions come to life in “New York, I Love You” – a collaboration of storytelling from some of today’s most imaginative filmmakers and featuring an all-star cast. Together they create a kaleidoscope of the spontaneous, surprising, electrifying human connections that pump the city’s heartbeat. Sexy, funny, haunting and revealing encounters unfold beneath the Manhattan skyline. From Tribeca to Central Park to Brooklyn the story weaves a tale of love as diverse as the very fabric of New York itself. Today is ‘Doomsday’, or at least it is in cinemas, with the latest movie from filmmaker Neil Marshall, the man behind such classics as ‘Dog Soldiers’ and ‘The Descent’, in theatres. In ‘Doomsday’, authorities brutally quarantine a country as it succumbs to fear and chaos when a virus strikes. The quarantine works for three decades–until the dreaded reaper virus violently resurfaces in a major city. An elite group of specialists is dispatched into the still-quarantined country to retrieve a cure by any means necessary. Shut off from the rest of the world, the unit must battle through a landscape that has become a waking nightmare. ‘Doomsday’ has all the classic post-apocalyptic conventions, but what are the most common ways mankind has kicked the bucket and how likely are they? Movies.ie investigates. (1)Asteroid/Comet Impact Where we’ve seen it? Armageddon, Deep Impact. How it goes down: A gigantic rock is found heading toward Earth. The whole world has to band together with some kind of shot-in-the-dark, desperate space mission to intercept it and blow it up. Hollywood filmmakers say this would almost certainly involve some kind of band of misfits who have a problem with authority. Could it happen? Probably. Asteroids do hit. The last time a serious one impacted was in 1908, in Siberia. That one was one-seventh the size of the one we were just talking about, and it flattened 800 miles of forest and splattered countless elk. How to survive it? Find hero, send hero to space, bomb everything and tada, the earth lives on (until the next big boulder passes our way…) (2)The Machine Revolution Where we’ve seen it? The Terminator series, The Matrix, Battlestar Galactica How it goes down: Man builds machines, we put them to work and lo and behold, they evolve sentience. Suddenly we’ve got cylons and what-not nuking us and the end of the world is nigh. Could it Happen? Well, probably not at the moment but keep an eye on your Ipod… How to survive it? If Linda Hamilton is around, you’re sorted. Alternatively interspecies relations may quash the problem, e.g. Sharon the cylon. (3)A Deadly Pandemic Where we’ve seen it? 12 Monkeys, 28 Days Later, Omega Man, I am Legend How it goes down: That damn reckless scientist did it again. Yes, another airborne virus will destroy us all. It may kill us immediately, it may turn us into zombies, either way, you haven’t got long. Chances of it happening: Pandemics, defined by their high-contagion rate and ridiculous body count, have been rare. Famous alumni include cholera, influenza and the Bubonic plague (that last one killed 100 million people, up to 20 percent of the world’s population at the time). Yes, we beat those bastards, but that doesn’t make us invincible. How to survive it? Find that antibody, turn to god, get out of the country (and pray its not airborne). (4)Evolution Where we’ve seen it?Heroes, the X-Men franchises, Planet of the Apes. How it goes down: Mendel will be the death of us all… Some mutagen will cause certain individuals to evolve powers. Every movie tells us, humanity doesn’t deal well with change. Chances of it happening: First, the bad news: This has already happened. It’s hard to find two people that agree on how the Neanderthals, an earlier version of the Human species, were wiped out. The mostly likely theory – modern mans… How to survive it: According to Hollywood, some members of these new, evolved humans will start to exhibit powers, the trick here is to be tolerant (they are superior beings after all- Jean Grey could kill you with one single thought!). Alternatively, our only chance at the continuation of our species is what one theory says the Neanderthals did: cross-breed. That’s right, invite Jean Grey for dinner, remember to bring flowers. (5)Government conspiracy… Where we’ve seen it? Logan’s Run, Metropolis, Serenity How it goes down: The government always knows best. They’ll kill us at 30, send us to work in the undercity, create a sub-species of humans by introducing a chemical agent into the air to improve ‘productivity’. All in the name of ‘whats best’. Could it happen? Some say Bertie tried. How to survive it? Vote! Or if the weather is bad – run, find love or get you’re self a killer sexy kitten named River. DISCUSS: What’s your favourite way to watch humanity kick the proverbial bucket? Doomsday is in Irish cinemas now.