The Plot: It’s St Valentine’s Day and love is in the air… along with the smell of freshly dripping blood. The Heart Eyes Killer has moved from the East Coast to the West Coast. This year he / she has targeted loved-up couples who will definitely be Sleepless In Seattle during the bloody rampage. Newly single Ally (Olivia Holt) isn’t too bothered by this, insisting that she’s not together with Jay (Mason Gooding) after they have a meet-cute in a cafe. This is followed by a meet-awkward later on in the boardroom when they find out that they work for the same company. True love must prevail though and after they become targeted by the killer, Detectives Hobbs (Jordana Brewster) and Shaw (Devon Sawa) investigate…
The Verdict: St Valentine’s Day-themed horror films are nothing new. My Bloody Valentine got there long ago during the post-Halloween and Friday The 13th slasher craze of the early 1980s. There’s just something about this ‘commercial holiday’ that lends itself well to some choice counter-programming, while also playing into the tradition that horror films often bring couples closer together in the cinema. As a mournful Bela Lugosi put it in Ed Wood – ‘Take my word for it. If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see Dracula’. The latest contribution to this holiday-themed subgenre of horror is Heart Eyes, which was pretty much unheard of until just recently. That will presumably change with its Valentine’s Day launch where it will cross swords with Bridget Jones. Counter-programming indeed.
At its bloody heart though, Heart Eyes would work well in a double feature with the London singleton’s latest outing. Bridget Jones: Mad About Heart Eyes perhaps? Drill deeper through the bone and Heart Eyes is essentially a romcom. The script by Happy Death Day and Freaky’s Christopher Landon along with Phillip Murphy and Michael Kennedy dutifully trots out the romcom’s tried-and-tested conventions: a meet-cute, hate-at-second-sight, awkward conversations, growing attraction, even the last-minute-dash-to-the-
The result then is indeed derivative of a lot of films of its ilk, but that doesn’t mean it can’t have a bit of fun being samey. Josh Ruben’s film gets straight down to business, setting out its stall by getting stabby-stabby with lovey-dovey couples who should know better than being trapped in a corner and then getting amusingly pulped. The Heart Eyes Killer is relentless and that aspect of it works well as the killer could strike at any moment. The heightened tone of danger is maintained for most of the film, aided along by the sparky sense of humour and rat-a-tat dialogue between the characters which is alluded to in a direct reference to a screwball comedy classic. It would appear that Ruben didn’t intend his film to be taken seriously at all. It’s not scary in the conventional sense, given that the humour is frequently dispatched to move it along at a zippy pace.
Ruben maintains that breakneck pace until the end of the second act with a death that isn’t fooling any horror fan. The third act then goes off on its own tangent with a reveal that is unnecessarily convoluted, particularly when considering how the cast have mere seconds of screen time to sell it. It’s an under-baked reveal that comes across as half-earned, aligning itself too closely to the Scream films (which featured Mason Gooding too) rather than make its own bloody mark. However, there’s still much to enjoy about Heart Eyes thanks to its self-aware sense of humour, game cast and twisty ability to blend romcom, whodunnit and slasher together into a tasty, blood-coloured smoothie that is gleefully stab happy.
Rating: 3 / 5
Review by Gareth O’Connor
In short: Stab happy
Directed by Josh Ruben.
Starring Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Jordana Brewster, Devon Sawa, Lauren O'Hara.